despite what i'd like everyone (including myself) to think, i'm not brave. i'm not confident, i don't really consider myself to be above you, and i certainly do care what everyone thinks of me. i just try to hide it behind jokes and offensive comments. i'm hiding behind a wall of pseudo-anger and a devil may care attitude when i'm just another scared little girl.
which is why i didn't end it sooner. i didn't want the mess. i didn't want it to drag on but then again, i didn't want questions. i didn't want to hear crying and questions because that would make me feel bad. but...i wanted it so why should i feel guilty, right?
ATTENTION PLOMMER SENIOR: you can now sleep soundly knowing that your daughter is no longer being corrupted by the "drug addict" (your opinion, not truth).
i'm considering locking my diary. the next time someone other than jesse asks me about something in my diary, it's getting locked and you'll have to prove yourself worthy to get a password. think i'm kidding? fucking try it. i don't mind having my thoughts being read but you have to realize, they're still my thoughts and it's wrong for me to be punished or have anyone guilt trip me because of my own thoughts. i won't allow it. i will not allow anyone to make me feel shame or regret for anything i've written in here.
i will not let you make me feel ashamed of who i am.
3:43 a.m. - 2005-08-15
Recent entries:
This is the last entry. - 2005-09-13
we're going to make like a tree - 2005-09-12
nice guys finish last - 2005-09-02
this is a test: are you going to pass it or fail it? - 2005-08-31
no matthews allowed - 2005-08-22
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